Your Hand Is Caught In The Cookie Jar, Let Go

In my scripture reading today I came across this verse

Be wise in the days of your probation; strip yourselves of all uncleanness; ask not, that ye may consume it on your lusts, but ask with a firmness unshaken, that ye will yield to no temptation, but that ye will serve the true and living God.
Mormon 9:28

Ask not that ye may consume it on your lust.  The many prayers I asked the Lord to bless me in my endevors that I did not prepare for. The many times I needed to pass a test in school as I did a last minute glance at the study guide, the only time I looked at it since receiving it.

This is one of many examples. I truly prayed for that which I truly wanted but I truly spent my time true to something else.

When I read that verse, in my minds eye the vision was not of me and what I just confessed to you. That vision came after I asked if I too was guilty of this. Not in the same magnitude as my first vision but guilty as charged.

My first vision was my siblings and my business partners gathered independently in their quite spaces praying that the Judge may rule in their favor, that their lawyer may be prepare and blessed in the arguments that he needs to present that day.
I know for the last five years I have prayed that same exact prayer. Also that I will accept the out come without an out cry. I’m getting better on that last request but not perfect.

We are taught to pray unceasingly. There is a long list of scriptures but this one is short, sweet, and to the point.

Pray without ceasing.
1 Thessalonians 5:17

Do they pray for the hand of the Lord to bless them in this endeavor, or do they know seeking a blessing that uses force and fraud to take my inheritance from me further damns their souls.  Do they avoid such words to escape their lips? Is this a plan hatched in their desires that it falls in the category of lust, therefore is hidden from the Lord in their minds?

But behold, ye cannot hide your crimes from God; and except ye repent they will stand as a testimony against you at the last day.
Alma 39:8

Over the last five years I have experienced so many emotion but when I am able to corral them, control them, and contain the contaminated ones, the emotion left standing is how I wish we could of sat down and talked, prayed together, and found the error that has brought us this far.
I have asked time and time again. That we may find the power to forgive and right this wrong. Yet it goes on. To the point of great loss. Yes loss of worldly goods. But the soul is of the most important.

Time and time again I have asked that you forsake the greed and pride that rests in your hearts and repent. Become family once again.
When this started it was a small group of thieves but to keep it progressing so many that should of remained innocent but have also signed on the dotted line. How many more are you willing to sacrifice. And for what?

Like Nephi of old taught his older brothers of the errors of their way. I too ask that you seek what
motivates you in this crime. Turn from it. And let love fill the darkness once again.

I love you and only seek for your welfare.

Over the years I have considered and been told by others that I should just drop it, walk away. Taking the easy way or the path of least resistance is not doing what is right. It lets those with
unrighteous desire to continue in their path to damnation. The one that turns from the fight is left with the sin and soiled clothes that comes from not speaking out and calling others to repentance.

As this year closes and my great desire of meeting, be it before a judge or mediator once again closes, my heart does take comfort that by the mercy of the Lord I have seen most of you in person as we have crossed paths in simple ways. For the most part it has been catching glimpses of you while we were both shopping. It brought me great joy to see you looking good and healthy.

I ask once again for you to stop this nonesense. To follow in the steps of our righteous forbearers and let this gift of inheritance bring us together. To learn through hard work and care, that we are truly blessed and loved. That even as we have differences we don’t have to be indifferent to each other. As we are learning through church, as the later days come to a close, we should council in all things. We should draw our families around us, council together, and then with prayer and understanding, accomplish that that we have decided upon.

The Lord is hastening His return. The signs are all around us. With love I plead to repent and and set this right.


Your sister in blood and the gospel.

Arrows of Blame

The boy ran nimbly as he could down the deer trail. Dodging low limbs and cat claw. Then stopped at the meadows edge to catch his breath. Across the meadow he could see the smoke rising from the chimney and he knew the rabbit he held in his hand would soon be stewed. He reached over his shoulder and straighten the quiver strap that had slipped down almost to the point of rubbing a blister on his neck, then made sure the bow was still secure.

By the time he got across the meadow he was wringing wet from the knees on down. The dew showed promise that the feed would hold out until the first frost, until then the hunting would remain good.

As the first dusting of snow came he found what his father had taught him rung true. The snow is easier to track in but the tracks would be fewer. His father had been called away to track an escape convict. He could be gone for a month maybe longer. Father and son had gathered the bounty for the family for as long as he could remember. Lessons were taught, learned, an administered.  

There were three things driven home above all the other learning,  first, respect for life, which seamed out of place as you were out to take a life. Time and time again he was taught to only kill what you eat and no more than you needed. Target practice was not to take a life. 

The second was patience. Take time to take the right shot. Not one that wounds, not hurried. Notice the breeze. Calculate how it will play for you or against you. If needs be, move to take advantage of the wind.

Third, if the shot is missed it lies solely with you.

Daylight was getting shorter, the days colder, and the prey more scarce. He silently walked with his eyes peeled for any sign. Be it prey or predator. At least he will learn the habits of both and could be on the receiving end of some other creatures loss. He went home that day empty handed but up beat for tomorrow.

Day after day he returned empty handed. His mother consoled him with stories of how years ago his dad also was honing his hunting skills and they went without, but never went hungry. There was always other things to eat besides that’s days catch. Food preserved carefully by his mother for times just as this.

“All will be fine. Be patient with yourself. Accept you are not all your going to be right now.” His mother would say.

As the sun broke over the hills on the fourth day he spotted a squirrel, low on a tree trunk. He took the shot, the squirrel rounded the trunk to the far side, his arrow missed the mark and the tree. “Stupid wind, you made me miss.

He walked on, heard a raven and took the shot. He did not miss, dead on. But his heart sank as he realized he took the life of a creature he would not eat. He soon reasoned that bird was a noisy old thing that was scaring off all his prey. 

Over the next week and a half he brought home two squirrels and a large hare. The snow fell again and started to melt by the time his father returned. 

“Son” his father said “Your mother tells me that you had some rough hunting days. Not that you didn’t bring home a kill but that you were saddened.”

“Father, I did my best but the elements were not in my favor.”

“Son I do not doubt your tried your best while I left you to do a mans job. Arrows of blame drawn from a quiver of guilt will not bring happiness.”

“Father, I don’t understand.”

His father drew a deep breath and quietly said “When we draw back our bow and let blame fly,we soon have a quiver full of reasons or excuses not to better ourselves. That son is the sin we fall prey too when we find fault in others or circumstances and not analyze what change needs to come from us first.” 

A Dogs Life

The ole dog laid in the yard sunning her self. She stood, stretched, shook off the nap, and scanned the horizon. Noting the other dogs were shaded up she trotted over to a lone tree.  I watched as she sniffed around close to where a root had come to the surface just where the dirt was a little softer.
The soil gave way as she proceeded to dig, soon she looked up disenchanted and returned to her place in the sun.

Many times I witnessed as she wandered off to repeat it over and over again. It may of been near a bush, a post, next to the barn, another tree farther down the way. Then she would return back to whence she came and fell back a sleep.

Over the years I had noticed she buried plenty. Bones, raw hide chews, a pancake, scraps of toast.  To no avail her searches came up empty. Oh she came across some things here or there, but mother earth had claimed most of it.  What bones were found had hardened and lost flavor.

As I watched day after day in hopes she'd win, find the prize she desired, I found myself obtaining a new bone for her. She mauled it for days on end then carried it off.  Taking notice that she was alone she dug a new hole, carefully placed the bone within and buried it under. 

She trotted home to lay in the sun, accomplished.  As she slept another dog stood, stretched, and ran unearthed her bone.

At times I have been that dog. The bones and scraps are people in my life. Trying to spend time with each and then storing the good memories away. Time and trials came and the bones and scraps laid idle as I waited for the sun to come out again.

Soon the sun broke loose of the dark clouds that had me encompassed. I took time to enjoy the warmth and comfort it gives. Then I went looking for bones and scraps, most were missing or lay silent.

Lately I have been given bones in the most unexpected ways. One came in such a small gesture that I cried.  I had given to one a small scrap.  I had responded to a need he had for a class.  An old dog came and questioned my scrap.  I guess I was not allowed to associate or help.  This young man wrote back "Thank you".  So simple, so kind.

Once the cold darkness of trials fades and the Son/sun has had time to work its healing, after the light has washed the shadows and those that stand in them telling you, you are of no worth, then you have great desire to grow and give again.  In time you see from a clear perspective, gain the confidence to search or reach out, to find new bones.

I found me slowly looking for small bits of kindness.  Most holes were empty, taken by others.  Dogs that felt I shouldn't have kindness in my life, but kindness prevailed, I was given new bones.

The dogs that dung up the buried bones found there was nothing of worth.  The ole girl had consumed all the good parts.  All there was left in the ground was history.  It couldn't be changed just because some desire to take it from her. It amounted to nothing to the other dog.  Dogs that try to take happiness from one another don't truly know happiness.  Robbing others for your happiness is pain that will never be satisfied.