Saturday, May 12, 2018

You Cad

STEVEN D NICOLL


This is who you are so proud to be married to?   It's too bad you have sunk so low.   12 year olds do graffiti.  
 Your mother and father cring if they are allowed to see your idiocy. 
And you wonder why no one wants you at the ranch. Everything happening to you is self caused.
When you're ready to change give me a call.  Just quit being so immature.
So I get this email from my brother.  The subject matter in bold letters and an exclamation mark after it is Grow Up.
So the mature thing to do is to contact the spouse or in this case the wife instead of the one you believe wrote this?  I always believed you faced the one who you feel has wronged you. Or does he truly believes I have wronged him by loving a man he hates.  I am the one in the wrong?

This is how it has been my whole life.  He has always tried to shame me.  Convince  me that no one likes me. That it is all my fault and if I will just change or submit to his ways he will fix it for me.
That is five things narcissistic people do.  There is quite a long list I have discovered.  

"Everything happening to you is self caused".  So explain to me why the day my mother passed I get a call from him and this is what he said "Your wish came true, your mother is dead".  What did I do to cause a callous call like that? I had her in my home and tended to her for her last three months. I was away only a few hours when she passed.  I didn't take her away from them.  I told them Tom and I would love to have her, but was told no. She was then dropped off after they decided they couldn't have her in their houses.

Explain this one.  When I asked about all of four of us children sitting down and going through our parents things I was told that they had already went through the paperwork and their personal belongings, that they would give me a change to go through other things of my parents at Patti's house an hour before the grand kids come to pick out what they want.
I was robbed of the closure I had hoped for. To sit one last time, experience and touch what they felt was important enough to hang on to it.

Or this one.  I've told this one before of how we voted on how many heifers to keep back at Cody's suggestion.  I felt it was too many.  I agreed but stated if money got tight we could sell a few.  A short time passed and was berated  by Don on why I kept so many if I was only planning to sell them. I did not sell them. I had no plans. Just wanted an option and an agreement. 

How about the time Chris told me to go get my fathers rifles because they were given to my boys and Patti was trying to give them away.  Then I was accused of stealing them and Chris said he couldn't collaborate my story until I started to be nice.  I was not mean.  I was just not obedient to their commands. 

There are so many examples of my self caused consequences.  If you don't lock step behind them, you will be rode rough shod over.  And there is no one to blame but your self.

I don't understand if everything happening to me is self caused, by what law or act of nature can cause your siblings to fraudulently take your inheritance away.  Even if I was to yell at them every time we passed each other, or even maim or harm them, that does not give the other party the right to use fraudulent means against them.  Fraud is fraud, it has a motive and the motive is self justification, not justified.

His line in the email about my parents, I don't know if he meant crying or cringing but to state "if they are allowed",  I have two questions, has he lost faith that those who have passed on don't watch what we do to each other?  Wait to help us?  Or has he convinced himself they don't so he can put distance between him, his acts, and his parents taking notice.

I don't understand how a person can spend so much energy tearing down the spouse of another in the eyes of the one who is married to them. Why that same energy is't used to find some good in someone that is now part of your family.  I have been told before that I could come back to the ranch but Tom needs to wait three years and they would revisit the matter.  I have been told to divorce him also. They will not speak to Tom.  They just keep after me.  I have begged for a mediator.  I truly have nothing in my conduct that is dishonest or malicious toward them.  There will always be misunderstandings, but to not allow a third party to sit in, is fear.

The other day I looked up the word Cad as I bounced around watering my cattle.  That is my time when I really get to relax and think.  I remember it being used in old movies and such.  Most sites agreed  on this meaning: a man who behaves dishonorable, especially toward women. Some had a bit more to say.
I decided that name works perfect for my situation, Cody Anthony Don Steve.  These have been pure cads toward me.

The old adage of birds of a feather flock together is very true when it comes to narcissist.  They really do get along.  Even prefer each other over us nonconformist. 

I think one of the saddest things that has come out of all this isn't that I have to fight to retain my inheritance, that is a given with the history of all the previous generations.  The saddest is how my Uncle Cap and my Uncle John's families to win this fraud engrossed range war have left out all the other children or grandchildren in their families so only Cody and Don inherit the deeded land and grazing rights.  
It is a tangled mess that our lawyers are having to undo but some how Steve looks on paper that he too owns my dads whole seventh. 

If it walks like fraud and sounds like fraud believe me it shits like fraud.