From Quilts to Grace

As I work on my quilt I think back to all the ones I have made. There are so few that I still can remember. Or maybe it is more like the Lord knowing us because he created us.

 I have always produced quilts in a series or group. My first ones where my Learning Series. They were crib sizes. I entered one in the County Fair (State Fair was too intimidating) and received a blue ribbon. Now don't go and get all excited. I knew my fairs back then. Pick the County over the State and do a size of quilt with less competition. A blue ribbon was fun. I got a check for about twenty dollars. 

The next were my Tramp Series. They were baby quilts in payment for a trampoline I was purchasing from my sister.  She loved giving homemade gifts. She passed away before I gave her the last two installments. Her good husband Vic told me I was paid in full. I don't think he wanted to go to any baby showers. Plus I laugh now but then it was upsetting to me. I was working with a pattern that I didn't notice but some of Tom's scouts did,  if I turned a block slightly a degree the pattern turned into a Nazi sign. I still hope and pray the finished ones I gave her didn't do that .

Those previous quilts led into my next series. The Sanity Series. I was teaching my kids at home at this time and if I left the room to do any chores I found the kids right on my heels. I went crazy sitting on the couch while they did their school work. I found if I was hand quilting a quilt I accomplished something and the kids had more fun laying under the quilt doing their work. I think plenty of times they were hypnotized with the rhythm of the needle coming in and out. 

I need to mention the in two previous series the fabric for these quilts was dumpster dive fabric. We knew of a business that made baby bedding. We knew which days were cutting days therefore we knew what night to go by and get free, cute, juvenile fabric. I still have some and so does my mother in law.

The Baby Series.  I then needed quilts to give to babies being born around me. 

The Wedding Series. Yes my own children were now getting married. Confession. I only finished two. I need to jump back into that series, bad. My heart just isn't there. And my heart influences me on everything. If my heart isn't into it my mind is long gone.

Understand years have passed between most of these series. Sometimes I felt I was starting anew. But each one provided exactly what I needed at the time. 

I now have entered my Healing Series but I found myself calling it my When Life Takes Your Cows Make Quilts Series. You know like the saying when life gives you lemons ...

This week I have found I changed the word life to lies. 

From the beginning I have said I have done nothing wrong. From my point of view that is what I see. But watching Alicia go through her hell, and talking to her I want to change the "the done nothing wrong" to honest mistake. I honestly did what what was needed for the cattle, property, and equipment. If they felt I made a bad call then they should of came up to help. We all from our point of view do things that others call a mistake or wrong. How easy is it for us to judge others looking on and not inside their intentions.

This week has been difficult again.  Not as bad just not easy to swallow.

A few weeks ago the ranch had a work weekend. I was not told. But by the grace of the Lord I found out the hour they were up there. The next day I asked one member "who thought of not inviting me". Not who agreed. To me everyone that was up there agreed. The answer I got was "I don't recall".  Really? Forgot that fast.  Wouldn't the truth be better? Ginny, we agreed this is best for now and we feel that it doesn't matter who suggested it. 

Also this week I have a kind sister in law that for some reason is trying to get to the bottom of this riff. I don't understand why she is willing to stick her neck out for me but I will take all the kindness I can get.  Anyway I was trying  to show that I have really had no respect for years. I told her of an incident that happened about eight years ago. How someone protected my family by coming to me about some gossip going around about one of my children. I hurried over to put a stop to it. My heart has always been endeared to him. I don't hug to many people but he was always on my very short list of those who I do hug. 

He told my sister in law it never happened. What?!  That was an honorable thing. Yet you can say that it never happened. You now make me out to be a liar like the rest of my family has? 

I wonder how much grace the Lord has stored up. Will He run out before I get there?  I always hoped  it is like that blob stuff on Ghost Busters II. In the beginning, if the blob stuff touches you, you feel angry, become hateful. But as Egon and Ray study it they learn that through compassion and kindness they can turn the blob into a gel of love. Soon as New York is about to kill each other they spray this around and it becomes the city of brotherly love. 

Can we turn this disregard for other into love one day? Can we stand up for truth even though it may hurt? What causes us to lie? What benefit out weighs the truth? Is there enough grace?

Sure wish my mom was here to see my newest quilts. She always made them all out to be blue ribbons.  They aren't. You know the Indian superstition how they leave mistakes in their blankets and pottery to let the evil spirits out. Well mine have enough mistakes to open the gates of hell.