Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Drop By Drop

... that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.  Alma 37:6

... by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.  Alma 37:7

Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works. ... Alma 37:41


Today while reading my scriptures the words "small and simple things" or "small means" really weighed in on my thoughts.
Daily as I read I look for answers to the heaviness that I feel in my life. It is never the same. Today I woke with nothing on my mind so I decided to search for what was impressed on my mind the other night as I wrote in my journal, exchanging "fear for faith". I read several talks from conference or the ensign, they were thought provoking but none of them spoke to my restlessness.
I decided to return to my scripture reading and postpone that search for later.
As I read the word "small" was larger than life to me. It kept jumping off the page.

And of course my mind flooded with how many "small" things in my life have returned with large blessings.  And the vision of Noah pounding the last nail in the ark came to mind, as he laid down his hammer and looked upon his birth land with awe and wonder as the first drop of rain fell. One small drop, not enough to fill a thimble, just big enough to leave a tiny dimple in the dust on the dry earth. No more than a "small means". But one after another and soon you feel the boat lift, the load shift, commotion. Can you hear the animals protesting this new sensation that has now given rise to their fears. Or did the Lord calm them? One more question when I meet Noah.

My fears are many but slowly I have taken one at a time and laid it upon a cloth, neatly enfolded within and tied it into a burden. With all the faith I have in my Lord I have placed this burden at his feet and taken His yoke upon me. By replacing a fear with a just cause I have felt the Lord in all His glory easy my load. I have learned that I need to search my soul and name each fear, not just take for granted that the Lord knows what fears I am holding on to. Just like we sing "Count a Your Many Blessings" I must name my fears one by one as I ask Him to accept my offering of change. To have faith that the Lord will ease each burden as He sees fit in my own life. Exchange a fear with a change. Faith to change. Fear of change to faith to change.

I may have not found the neon light answer to "changing fear to faith" that I expected but by small and simple things my heart has changed to look for the "small". The dimple in the dust size of faith that lifted a barge with a family of man and the two by two of creatures that come by means of drop after drop of faith.


And now, my son, I would that ye should understand that these things are not without a shadow; for as our fathers were slothful to give heed to this compass (now these things were temporal) they did not prosper; even so it is with things which are spiritual.  Alma 37:43

For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.  Alma 37:44

And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.  Alma 37:45

May the Lord in all His glory and mercy keep blessing my small and simple things.

 O remember, remember, my son Helaman(daughter Ginny), how strict are the commandments of God. And he said: If ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land--but if ye keep not his commandments ye shall be cut off from his presence.  Alma 37:13

What a wonderful chapter of a father talking to his son. What a wonder lesson from my Father to His daughter.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

A Dogs Tale

I had a dog named Mobie. He was a Cockapoo. He looked more Poodle than Cocker Spaniel, so I liked to say he was a Cockapoopoo.  Mobie was arrogant, full himself and a big case of little man syndrome. He had this grin that was hilarious. He would curl both of his lips up tight and bare his teeth. But it was a full grown all teeth smile.  It was deceptive to those who just met him. I loved him, took care of his needs but found I didn't buddy up to him. He always had to be near me. I never sat in my chair that he wasn't in it along with me. He had a habit of waiting at my feet as I sat in my chair, long before my bottom met the chair seat he was already in mid air, he knew how to land on my lap just as I sat. Plenty in my family buddied up with him, so he was satisfied. One night in Vernon, late at night I heard him run outside to check out a noise. That was the last we heard of him. He was around eight years old and had done this sort of thing his whole life. Nothing in this world scared him.

I have had dreams about him that have been over a two year span of time. In my first dream, Mobie came running into the Vernon house. All of us were disappointed to see him but not Tom. He wanted Mobie to know it was great to have him around and how Tom had really been devoted to my happiness.

The second dream was also simple, Mobie came in the house like he had never left and was very possessive of every thing.

My third dream was shocking to me. Mobie came in looking like he had just come from the groomers. His hair was so shiny and styled. He had that funny grin of his. All he did was show up and then he was gone again.

I had one last Mobie dream. This was my fourth in just over two years. The dreams  are always short, in the early morning, and I can recall full details of them.
In this last one I was in the kitchen of the Power house, along with a lady in a white dress. I never saw her face but her presence felt like a compilation of several people. People that have not judged me, she felt like family.
Mobie came in the kitchen and he was panting hard. His hair was long, unkept and matted. His underside was caked in mud, along with grass and thorns tangled in the hair and mud.
Mobie was standing by me and I felt no need to clean him. He then tried to pull a piece of grass off his belly. It hurt him so bad that he looked up at me and his nose and his lips were such a dark blue they looked almost purple. The pain had taken his breath away.
I turned to the lady in white and said "I think he is dehydrated." I walked over to get the water bowl and noticed it was dry and dirty. I went to the sink and started to rinse it out. I kept dumping out the water because more filth kept breaking loose. The lady in white finally said "Don't worry about cleaning it, he is a dog."
I said "True, they drink from the gutter".
I put the bowl on the ground.
My dream was over and I woke.

I spent months trying to see if they tied together. They definitely had a strong impression on me, insomuch that I wrote each one down in my journal, but still they made no sense. In late August or first of September as I was meditating on them, a thought was impressed upon my mind. Mobie in my dreams represented my brother Steve. I remember literally saying out loud that the next time I have one I was going to pay close attention.

It is ironic that I never really liked Mobie, but I loved him as I do all animals.  I treated him good. Tom always said I didn't like Mobie because we were twins in that we are both independent. But I saw Mobie as arrogant, possessive, and bossy.
When the meaning of my dreams was revealed to me all my dreams made perfect sense. In the first one when Mobie came in, Tom wanted Mobie to know that he had only had desires for my happiness. This dream was just as my dad was slowing down at the ranch and leaving more to the younger generation to step up too. Steve started in with small accusations of Tom trying to control me and take over the family ranch. Tom at the time had no desire to ranch but had full intentions of supporting me as I had for years previously in his businesses.

The second one was just after my parents passed and Steve had full power over their financials and my parents Trust, and he was very possessive.

My third dream was Mobie came in looking very dapper. Like I had just taken him to Petsmart and paid for the "Top Dog" grooming package. This was just a few months after my partners had come on my personal property and took all the ranch equipment from my yard and moved all the money in our partnership account.

The fourth was when I felt Tom and I might have a leg to stand on getting resolve on the many extended family disputes. Mobie was not in the best position, kind of miserable. I had always hoped it was from family maybe asking about what was happening and maybe it had pricked his conscious. But the white dress leaves me to believe it is those who have passed on are unhappy with him.
It has been many, many, months of no more dreams of Mobie/Steve. I feel and even hope that the last dream was the closure I needed. Like I said, once I learned how to read these dreams I have felt blessed to know the Lord knows us personally. Knows what each of us need for comfort, for reassurance that our prays are heard, even though they are not resolved they way or as speedily as we hope.