Why?
More history. Lot was Abraham’s nephew. When Abraham was told to leave Egypt he took his wife and Lot and his wife. They were very blessed over time with an abundance of herds. Soon they had to part ways to have enough feed. Lot picked east toward Sodom. Abraham west.
Both men were highly favored of the Lord. Peter one of the Lords apostles speaks of Lot and compares his righteousness to Noah’s. One saved from the sins of others by water, the other by fire.
Abraham was warned of the up coming destruction to the city of Sodom. He asked if there was any righteous would they be saved. Three angels were dispatched to warn and save Lot and his family. Lot went to talk to his son-in-laws who both informed Lot that they would not be going with him.
No wonder she looked. Was it the curiosity of a city burning and all it entailed. The thought of all her friends and the fun they all had. Or was it in hopes her married daughters along with their family members might by the skin of their teeth, running to catch up.
I have for the longest time “looked back” but no more. My father told me in a dream that he had learned that I had lost much but I will gain more. That has been almost three years. I thought I had lost a lot then. But it was only a small amount.
I came across this talk from a Richard G Scott (April 2012). This is one paragraph from the talk.
Revelation can also be given in a dream when there is an almost imperceptible transition from sleep to wakefulness. If you strive to capture the content immediately, you can record great detail, but otherwise it fades rapidly. Inspired communication in the night is generally accompanied by a sacred feeling for the entire experience. The Lord uses individuals for whom we have great respect to teach us truths in a dream because we trust them and will listen to their counsel. It is the Lord doing the teaching through the Holy Ghost. However, He may in a dream make it both easier to understand and more likely to touch our hearts by teaching us through someone we love and respect.
Last night for the first time my sister that has passed on was in my dream. My mother was there also. My mother has came to me before and acknowledge my pain but when I asked her what was right she could not say and she always stood by my brother. She didn’t stand with him but she couldn’t leave him. She looked back so to speak. We truly do leave this world with what heart possessed it. She always had a different love and respect for my brother.
I have a testimony that the heart we leave this world with can change. Will learn. Does grow in light and knowledge.
My mother stood with me. She supported me. I felt having her and my sister with me while I made this choice showed that even those that have pushed me away, that there is family beyond this world that love me, watch over me, and bring encouragement and hope to me.
In this dream I was in Salt River Canyon. I drove to the highest, sharpest turn. Others on the road had long quit going any further. When I reached that spot I got out of my truck, my mother and Susan stood next to me. I turned to them and said this is how I have gotten past this hard time before. My mom said that this is the right way. I was just going to plow ahead. I pushed my truck head long off the peak and it bumped down twice. Landed perfect. We walked a few paces and got in the truck.
I am headed a way that most people don’t go. It has a couple of rough spots but after that it will be down hill.
I shouldn’t of taken so long to read about Lot’s wife. It answered many things for me. Most recent things. Like;
One Sunday as I waited out in the hall for the next class to start a kind woman came with grand baby in arms and asked “Ginny how is it going. What is the latest on your family?”
I told her two of my sons had come and helped us brand. It was a mother’s delight to be working alongside my boys and their children. I told her my daughters have contact with us but I don’t feel all the healing they need is complete. Then I said for my extended family, things are far from good. Healing is still far off because we haven’t hit our pinnacle.
I will never forget what she said. “Forget them. We can and are saved in spite of them.”
She read my heart. I have asked over and over. Why do we spend so much time as the Church of Jesus Christ finding our family that has gone on before us if we loose those that walk the earth with us. It felt like I was failing. Going to fail. Get to the end of my life and be turned away because I was turned away, shunned.
It wasn’t but a few days after this I was told to look at Mrs. Lot. I just kept delaying it. Living life can get busy, complicated, messy, and fun. I did remember a few talks over the years I had heard and didn’t want to face what answer I remember they were promoting. One that kept coming to mind was the author said she looked back because she didn’t want to leave the life style. From reading the scriptures I saw no cause for her to be judged that way.
Nope. Didn’t like that. But after my personal study of scripture also included a historical accounts study by BYU, I learned there was a lot more meat to the Bible story.
It was a father, mother, two sisters leaving family members. They loved them. Tried to warn them. Tried to save their lives but the family members were not willing to save themselves.
That is me. I have reached out to my family. Desiring to talk, desiring to mend, desiring them. I was literally turning to salt. The salty tears that ran, watered, and dripped because them.
The story of Lot and the lady at church was preparing me for one more break from them. They have pushed us away even farther. Unjustly. Very judgmental. None the less a large shove. We had asked for information regarding upcoming family events. Tom shared his sorrow of missing an event of a few years back. They don’t want us to attend any activities so they read anger instead of sorrow in our words and cut the ties we had with them.
I was prepared for this. I didn’t look back. I am saved on my own merits, not by how many call me family that walk with me upon this earth.
It isn’t that I don’t want family they don’t want me. I don’t walk, talk, and act they way they do or do as they tell me too, so, no soup for you.
Lot’s wife, why did she look. Did she love her family? Is her disobedience that turned her to salt an eternal punishment. I don’t believe so. It is all in her heart. A heart of a mother or a heart of one that longed to remain in sin. I can’t judge. I have had a change of heart. I have witnessed my mother’s change of heart. I am grateful that my father has taught me. And I am very grateful my Heavenly Father and his son love me.
