How, Lord Will It Be Done

As I walk my dogs in the mornings I converse with the Lord. On many occasions I asked  "Lord, which dog will you leave me with and which will you take"?
I then would proceed to give my reason or plead for one or the other. By the time I was done both dogs were equal and once again I had returned home with the question unanswered but a great appreciation for them both.

That is not the only thing I discussed with the Lord. Many times I reminded Him of my hearts pain. And most times we talked about how beautiful his world is and I would thank Him for letting me see a wonderful sunrise, or some creature scurry, or the beauties of birds in flight.

As of late I told Him that I feel it is time if possible to be a family once again. We would discuss on how or maybe. But nothing seemed plausible. One day about a month ago I asked again for guidance on this subject. The thought crossed my mind "It will take a death". I immediately cried out, "Who? I fear if it is by death some will decide it is too late. They are gone. The arm is severed and nothing will bring it back so why continue". Once again I heard "By death".
I went home and spoke no more on the subject to the Lord.

Vaquera had over time changed, now she was impatient with the other dogs and had lost weight. I took her to the Vet and learned she would soon need to be put down. I stewed over it for a week. I then told Tom I was going to have a full blown funeral for her. Grave, coffin and luncheon. Then a week later I told him I want to invite the family. We talked about it. I think he didn't want me to be crushed if I got no answers back,

My mind was in pain that I never connected my pleading or conversations with the Lord. My brain burned with how long shall I keep her selfishly to myself. How can I spend time alone with her. She came into our family when I had other dogs and never was it just her and I. I needed our time.

Today I have a son and his family coming. Our hearts are heavy. Tom can not join in with us. Evil is still tearing the one I love and need from me.
May the Lord send vengeance on them.

It has taken a death and I now know what dog the Lord has called His own.