Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

I have been in a slump for quiet a few days.  Thursday I was numb. I piddle around the house.  Hum Ho.
Tom called and asked if I wanted to do a parts run with him.  Might as well.  Not much happening here. 
I rode around not saying much.  Staring out the passenger window.  The wind blew my hair in my face, eyes, mouth, I just didn't care.
The end of last week I felt calm so I emailed some of the ranch rangers to see if the heat had died down.  Just trying to see if time had made it possible to get through this ugliness.  Well, one responded back with some heat.  Another responded back with some vile.  The last one wanted time to think about his answers.  Later in the day I emailed the last one " never mind its not worth it".


The words in the emails were harsh.  Bothered me.  As I read the new accusations and added the old ones that have been said to me, I am still at a loss.  They accuse but they won't give the circumstance so I can give my side.  Let alone they have informed me that they won't believe what I say because I lie anyway.


Any who, I had been riding around about five hours, I remember it was a cloudy day.  The wind was moving the palm trees around outside my window.  It was almost like a summer storm brewing.  My thoughts were gray and moving about just like the weather.


Suddenly I felt lifted. Lighter  The sun that was hidden from sight had just penetrated my soul.  I felt a smile cross my face.  I witnessed a beautiful sky of many different colors of storm clouds with many shapes and sizes, a wonderful breeze blew through. The first thought that crossed my mind was, "is this is how it feels if people are praying for you?"  The Lord knows I hadn't done much of anything to change my attitude.  I had tried to read some church talks but they didn't find a friendly branch to flit on.  They beat their wings and left very restless.


Friday I woke with a skip in my step, song in my heart and the ability to do my friendly banter with Tom.  I believe he noticed instantly but he didn't draw any attention to my new attitude.
As I meditated, gardened, sewed, sang with the radio, shopped, became normal, it hit me.


They justify their actions with accusations. 
If they have to sit around like a bunch of old broody hens sitting on a nest of accusations and cackling all day to justify how they treat others then there is nothing I can do about it.


Most people want to ask why did you;


steal from us
lie to us


That's is when I realized.  I am a good person.  I am a honest person.  I am a kind person. 
Just because someone says other wise, doesn't make it true.