Dust Bunnies

I went to my therapist Tuesday. I sit down and he asks, like usual "How did your week go?"
Oh I started right in telling him all I did, all I witnessed and all my thoughts.
He looks at me and says "Your quiet a funny woman." Later he said "Your almost giddy with happiness."
Yes my humor is back.  My confidence is back.
When he first met me my world was black. I preferred the shades down and chased back the light.
He, along with others have raised the shade slightly, slowly. At first I was fascinated with the dust particles I saw floating in the light. Distracted with them as the light was released more and more in my life. I have now reached into the shadows and retrieved a dust bunny. An almost tangible things that used to distract me but now I can sweep it from my life.
I have understanding, compassion, forgiveness. I didn't have these before, especially for myself.
I now have understanding of who I am. How my actions and reactions formed me. If I let others walk on me I soon feel like a rug. Low down and dirty. If I stand up for myself I become human, with reason and reasoning.  If I understand myself I can better understand others.
Have you ever noticed that compass is the majority of the word compassion. A compass gives us direction. From point A to point B. No matter what lies in between. Hills, mountains, trees, searing heat, walls or oceans. With compassion it is the same. Compassion for those who hurt. For those who hurt us. It gives direction on how to step into others shoes and see where they are coming from. It doesn't validate is was right but it gives us a willingness to learn. A compass leads to understanding.
Forgiveness is the fruits of understanding and compassion. To withhold it only starts the vicious circle again.
Understanding, compassion and forgiveness were some of the flecks of dust that I saw in the sunlight. Fear, anger, hate, are the accumulated dust bunnies that I pick up hidden in the darkness. They feel so harmless. Soft. Small. But they are a form of uncleanliness. I have a strong desire to be clean.
I have a strong desire to forgive. I have study it. I have sought council from others. I have asked  my therapist, he said it is good to forgive. He also said you need to tell or write to people how you feel. You need to forgive and tell them exactly why you need to forgive. How they hurt you or angered you. How you feel betrayed  or any other (dust particles) emotions you felt. He warned me that I may not receive what I hope back from them, but good or bad response I will only grow stronger.
Throw open the curtains, tie back the drapes, pull up the blinds, roll up the shades. I need sunlight to grow.