Tom

The other day I turned to Tom and said, "I love you".
He touched my arm and said, "I love that you said, I love you"

I don't say I love you much, I do a bit more (tiny in front of bit would be a bit more accurate).

I believe I have a Midas Touch, just everything I love seems to go wrong instead of turning to gold. I am afraid to become too attached to people. It seems everything I touch turns out to hurt me. It goes way back.

Then Tom turned to me and asked, "Will you, if you can, write all the ways you love me".

Have you ever heard the song by Tom T. Hall " I Love"

I love little baby ducks, old pickup trucks
Slow-movin' trains and rain
I love little country streams, sleep without dreams
Sunday school in May and hay
And I love you, too

I love leaves in the wind, pictures of my friends
Birds of the world and squirrels
I love coffee in a cup, little fuzzy pups
Bourbon in a glass and grass
And I love you, too

I love honest, open smiles, kisses from a child
Tomatoes on the vine and onions
I love winners when they cry, losers when they cry
Music when it's good and life
And I love you, too


This about sums it up. But, I need to reach within and really say what he needs to hear before it is too late.

I love in you, Tom, now that we have been to counseling you understand how my mind works. How I am damaged merchandise but you don't see me like that. Just the other day, when we had hit a unforeseen wall running fast and hard, you turned to me and said, "What I love about your out look on life is how you have felt your whole life you couldn't please God. How you felt you must of done something so bad to deserve all this trouble. Most people would of turned to drugs and alcohol, but not you , you just keep trying to please Him. How you now look at this situation and look to a change for the better".

That is one thing I love. You have great capacity of understanding and true compassion for mankind, especially those who turn to you for your strength.

I love you, because you are smart, optimistic, and you fight for right and righteousness, but you are not self righteous. You are willing to push limits set by man but not test the waters set by the Lord.

Your testimony never shakes or shutters, it is broad enough to carry me as mine has doubted and dwindled.

I love how you can be gentle with me, stand up to me, stand with me, back down from me, believe me and believe in me. Motivate me but not push. Push me when I refuse to grow. Expect great things from me but not be disappointed when I fall short.

I am sorry for all those years you didn't understand me and how I still shut down or won't talk because I can't explain myself.

I love you because you always loved me even when I said I love you, today.

I know I am missing a ton more but my emotions are running high. Just as I sat down to write, my famous "Midas Touch" reared its head. I received this in a private message while I was writing, it from someone I love.

"Legal papers pertaining to  my health that I had you on, please shred since I've removed you."

It took some of my musings from my heart and turned my brain to mush. How about I just commit to treat you like I love and cherish you before you get tired of my troubles that follow me and you also leave me.

Better days should be just beyond my grasp. When those come I know I can write what we both need to hear. Until then I LOVE YOU.