Blessing From Trials

A sudden and unexpected calm has settled on me. I have felt this before. It was just as my mother moved in with me as she prepared to go beyond the veil. Before that I was still kicking against the pricks. I had had my quad accident that left a very active person feeling as though I had turned into a three legged turtle. I could still get around but I was constantly trying to figure out how to do all I had been doing with a jacked up wrist.
About a week after she arrived I was quietly cleaning around the house as she napped. A great calm came over me. My turmoil was of course the unexpected expected outcome of why my mom now lived with me. Could I handle this? I knew I could for her but....
Then there was the missing my cattle. I didn't dwell on them much.  I just knew I was missing calving and all the proud mommas showing off their babies.
The calm was realizing that if it wasn't for the accident I would of still been employed and it would of been a lot harder to be available for my mother. But durning my recovery I had been pretty much replaced at work so I wasn't needed as much.
A blessing.

I have been sulking and we all know it. My old ranch partners are less than nice and I had pretty much gotten to the point of not interacting with them. Oh I missed the big herd but I have my cute little one now. Life was good on a smaller scale and that is good.
I had to pull on my big rancher girl pants and interact with them one more time. I had to go retrieve my two cows and calves.
Over a two day period that amounted to about four hours I was told I wasn't worth listening to, I need to leave and served notice that I no longer could come on family property. That is fine and dandy I expect to be bullied by my brother and his two minions but what really shows is their pettiness.
I was having a private conversation with the cattle inspector while getting my paperwork in order to take my cows and calves when he asked me "Ginny how long have you had this brand and how did you come by it?"
It was mainly small talk because they had just treated me rough in front of him and he wanted to get me away from them.
In the middle of explaining how I came by it Don walked up and said "K5 huh. Your 5 looks like a upside down backwards 2.
My calm came this week when it was reviled to me how really petty they are. I don't need it. No one does. I have a small herd and big happiness. The Lord has assured me one day I will have a big herd again that I can share with the family once more. I answer to my new partners who aren't competitive or petty but encourage me to share my heritage.
I don't kick around with the pricks anymore.
Blessing

This is one of the most resent examples of pettiness. There has been plenty I just over look others short comings to easily. I am learning the difference between short comings and down right meanness.

I am so thankful to the Lord. I have learned so much throughout what I thought were trials. When in reality I was pushed away from those I love through betrayal and accusations. Only to rise in time being blessed. It is so calming to not fear being with those you love. I believe forgiveness is the most rewarding feeling I have ever experienced.

The greatest lesson you can learn is to walk away from those you fear or give you grief. No matter who it is. It only weakens you. You can't please them without selling a bit of yourself.

I have no desire to work along side of them. I am no longer working on the resolve. I tried for so long to be heard. To understand misunderstandings. But I have learned there is no understanding without trust or respect.