Validation

We all need it. From free parking by making sure our parking ticket is validated to voicing our opinion or problem to the right crowd so we will be agreed with or validated.
It strokes our fur and gives us our necessary purr. To put it short and simple.

I thought I was tip toeing through hell after my parents died. I was loosing my siblings one by one. Then extended family members. But I soon learned I was just above the flames.

My own family was in turmoil and one day a hand grenade was toss into the mix and I fell far below the flames into the all consuming fuel and coals.

Back up to my walking amongst the flames. My personal family was hurting along with my hurt. To the point that they wanted nothing to do with those causing me such pain. Some even said under their breath that they would like to "punch them in the face".

Oh how fast we can turn on those we once stood by as the weight of the world crushed down so hard we seemed breathless, lifeless. How fast we can turn to those we wanted to punch in the face for validation for our horrible situation.

It is the perfect audience we need. If they hate those who I now hate I will have validation. I can take all my feelings to them and feel good while I wallow in them.

As I looked the word validation over it was put to me, was I searching for it? Was my "dirty laundry" aired by me motivated for it? Validation glorious validation.
No! I did not hand pick a crowd. I aired my troubles, my pain, my truth from a world wide banner. I didn't need affirmation. I needed those who have chose to turn away or turn on me to at the least hear me out. And they have. The only interaction we have is response to what has been posted. It maybe ugly, for that I am sorry.
It isn't what social media is designed for. It is said. But I believe we will have to agree to disagree.

We air the worlds problems, the countries, our states and cities. I air mine. For that is my world. I have nothing to hide. I only want to be heard. Not herd.

My dad left the ranch for a while and the last brother that ranched is still distancing himself. I asked my mom when she moved in with me as her life came to a close "What was the fight between dad and his brothers?"
Her answer was one brother was too progressive for his liking.
My dad didn't walk away he was pushed away. Like me. Like who know how many others. Is it the "Nicoll" way or it is a human weakness within many families?
I can't answer that. I only see history wasn't learned so it repeats it's self.

I have prayed for validation. But those ideals or problems I needed validated I took to the audience that could or would validate it.
I am not innocent of that human weakness. But I didn't go to the enemy to achieve it.


Self-validation
adjective
1.
requiring no external confirmation, sanction, or validation.