April 21, 2010

Dear Journal,

Up at 5:30 to take the dogs on a run. Nice, nice morning. Think I will take them all the way around the alfalfa field. As we approach home I have two dogs with classic signs of fox tail in the ears. One side of the field doesn't have fox tail but too late for me to notice, the other side does.

Tom had told me of two places I have to go this morning and now I know I can add the Vet to that list too.

Come home and fix breakfast for me and Tom, get dressed to go to work. Start my morning computer routine. My computer had a little burp but I finished what I needed. The Vet will see me at 8 am. Great, then I can go to Bill and Elaine's to say my good-byes to Bill. I tried to on Sunday but there was tons of family around. I had in my heart what needed to be said from me and I wanted and needed to tell him.
Had a good hour visit with him. Good man.

Then off to Beehive Clothing to satisfy some of Tom's list. Done there and now to finish of the list so I can get back to work to send in payroll. Went to get a couple of bed rolls (that is what we give as wedding gifts to our children, because that is what we got ourselves for a wedding gift). Pick up some more lead rope for my dogs because I like the price there. Now the list is done and can head to work again.

Sit down to work and my computer keeps turning off and then restarting. What?!!! I have a virus. I don't need this. Run down to use Tom's and his is doing the same. Find a computer that has some sanity and post payroll. Call Lance on the computer problems. See if Blaine can do anything. Lance can't do anything by remote service. Blaine tried some stuff but it is not working. Get depressed and do what I always do if I can't work through it. Went to bed. I can work as hard as the next, but if my hands are tied, I cope by getting depressed and falling asleep.

Woke up late, only to recieve a call that I can now pick up my dogs who are now awake from their minor surgery. Too depressed and too late to fix dinner. Tom wants to take me to dinner to help me settle down. He has a class him and the boys are going to, but if we drive separate and hurry it can all be worked in. Chinese buffet. Feed the stress, that is as good as sleep.

Come home and decide to just read. No TV, just read. About 7:50 get a call from Tom. You want to meet me at Mom and Dad's? Sure why? Dad has died. Heart stops. Mind reasons. If the Lord doesn't send us more than we can handle, why do I feel that I am having a heart attack? Get dressed and head there to watch, learn, grieve.

I am grateful to be a member of the true church that teaches us more than just to believe, but to KNOW there is life after death. That the Lord loves us and will only give as many trials as we need to grow and learn.

April 22, 2010

I am still breathing. I lived through it. My computer has been resurrected by Lance telling Blaine what to do. I was able to talk to Bill before he went home. My dogs are normal and happy. My heart is full. The Lord loves me, the little rough neck that I am.