Near Tears

The other day my emotions were back and forth. At one moment I was over joyed, the next I was so melancholy I was close to crying.

One of the many stories in the Book Of Mormon is of the people of Limhi. They had fallen under the hands of a very burdensome king. Limhi sent some of his men out by night to find a people that might help them break free of the king that ruled over them.  His men soon returned without finding the people they were looking for but they did find a place where people had been annihilated and stumbled onto some plates with writing they could not interpret.

Modish 21:28 

  And now Limhi was again filled with joy on learning from the mouth of Ammon that king Mosiah had a gift from God, whereby he could interpret such engravings; yea, and Ammon also did rejoice.

These next verses tell of Mosiah interpreting and reading the plates to his people.  This best describes how I felt on what was in my heart that day. How my emotions could swing in such vast directions.

Modish 25:7-11

  And now, when Mosiah had made an end of reading the records, his people who tarried in the land were struck with wonder and amazement.

  For they knew not what to think; for when they beheld those that had been delivered out of bondage they were filled with exceedingly great joy.

  And again, when they thought of their brethren who had been slain by the Lamanites they were filled with sorrow, and even shed many tears of sorrow.

   And again, when they thought of the immediate goodness of God, and his power in delivering Alma and his brethren out of the hands of the Lamanites and of bondage, they did raise their voices and give thanks to God.

   And again, when they thought upon the Lamanites, who were their brethren, of their sinful and polluted state, they were filled with pain and anguish for the welfare of their souls.

I mentioned to Tom when he came home from work how I struggled with emotions all day. Later I messaged my baby daughter of my struggle also. 

I felt overjoyed knowing in just a few days the puppies would be going to their new homes. My days spent loving, feeding, cleaning up after, and training pups, and my nights helping mom care for pups were about over. I also felt sadness of not doing all that.

Besides my puppy time coming to a close I just found out we have a mediator agreed upon and a date to start on my, family feud, my, range war, my, I never saw this coming, insanity. After five years I was so happy to see the end was within my grasp. When it is all said and done it will ending the way I had asked from the beginning. Not in a court but in front of a mediator. With all to sit in the same room and see the pain we had all levied on each other. No matter how it is resolved, it will be a personal experience for each of us. Not two lawyers speaking in a practiced script to represent us. Then again I am scared it won’t be the cleansing I hope for, that maybe the healing I hoped for won’t begin once we see from each other’s perspectives.

Years ago while on a family trip we stopped at a museum and there was a calf with two heads or faces like Tom calls it. It wasn’t alive, just stuffed and mounted. I thought on that little creature. Wondering so many questions, like so many others most likely have. 

I have come to believe that creatures, the creations of the Lord, man on down to what is believed to be the last or least, that all are born with challenges. Some are seen or recognized right away. Others are hidden from plain sight. But nonetheless we are to help each and everyone, everything with these challenges.

I pestered or maybe peppered the Lord with many questions about this calf. For the last three years I would ask the a Lord when he was going to send me my “cash cow”. I had come to call it that. Not that I would gain a wealth in monies but a wealth of understanding, answered to my questions. I didn’t pray for one to be born this way but that one that was going to be born this way would to be sent to me.

I was given one. I have yet got to touch it, feed it, study its behaviors. Like every lesson that has been sent to me, it comes dragging a sack chucked full of patience. I am three hours away from Poly the polycephaly calf. I am a few days shy of finishing up my stewardship of puppies. 

This little calf won’t live long. They just aren’t built too. I do find it ironic that when humans are born this way they are assisted and cared for, as to live a full productive life. But in the same breath, humans are allowed to kill their unborn. But it is the complete opposite in animals. We protect their young but it bothers some that I choose to comfort this “oddity” instead of putting it down. I believe in life. And as long as any creature desires to try and live it should be allowed to endure what it can to survive. But with that said over the years we have put things out of misery when the light of life, the striving to live, has ceased to exist. 

My day of tipping back and forth between happiness and sadness has been interrupted. The Lord has sent me a diversion. He knows how I can rock back and forth between reality and “what if” until like a new mother, I have rocked this unfounded infant in my arms and stay down in a depressed state as not to wake the baby enfolded in my arms. In other words, I worry over nothing until I have no desire but to worry and do nothing.

Like Tom said “Ginny, the Lord truly loves you.” When he learned that I had asked for a two headed calf.

It is a weird conformation of having your prayers answered but it is a testimony of the power of prayer, of our Lords love for us, and sending us what we need when we need it. I think as time passes I will gain many other blessing from this calf being sent to me at this time. As with all my other challenges, as the dust settles I find more to them as time goes by, but for now I’ll take the assurance the Lord heard my questions and knows as I leap from one project that has consumed me that I will need another.

By the way, two faced it what we become if we allow ourselves, two headed is a challenge we learn to live with. I have met two faced people, I can’t wait to meet my two headed friend.

And a big sorry to Amanda who stated “I wonder what the Lord wanted us to learn from this calf.” It’s just me again sucking you into my vacumme of “Wierd questions with weird answers.” Be patient with me I think I have run out of question for now.

Be It Unto Me According To Thy Word

As I studied the January 6-13 Come Unto Me- Individual and Family study guide I came to a paragraph about two miracles, one of a barren woman, Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist,  and the other, a virgin, Mary, mother of Jesus. They both had an angel come and tell of a journey they were about to embark on. Complete miracles for each one and for us, one son would provide a saving ordinance, the other to be our Savior.

I started wondering if I had to wear their shoes how would I react. Both had to hold their heads high as some in the world would judge them. Their world crashing down around as they hear the whispers of; poor Joseph espoused to Mary and her being with child, or I can’t believe Elizabeth is having a child at her age. 

Whispers are cowardly and cruel but what really hurts is what we can say face to face with each other.

As I ponder on these thoughts it came to me that I too had been warned in a dream of a hardship that would be in my future. I was eight when I had a dream that a witch would stand between me and a place I love. A piece of land that is my inheritance. The dream conveyed to how I would freely walk on that land then suddenly one day out of no where there would be an obstacle very overpowering, compelling, and scary that I could no longer go there. 

I still can feel the fear to this day that I felt in my dream. When I recall the dream I don’t see me as third person, or watching it happen again, I feel it. All the emotions that were in the dream. I felt scared, deep dispair, no hope. But my desire to return to what I knew brought an anxiousness but not an anxiety. 

In my great desire to go beyond the fence that divided me and the land I would repeatedly approach the gate only to have the witch fly toward me or jump out from a hiding place. I would walk back to where I felt safe. I would contemplate giving up. I would wait a time and try again. It felt like forever before it was impressed upon my mind that the witch is not a physical being. That it can’t touch me, hurt me. I gained confidence and walked through the gate and right towards her. As I got close she disappeared.

In my dream I feared the witch. That was my only emotion. I imagine that both Mary and Elizabeth felt fear, like all first time mothers do. The unknown can frighten anyone. The unchartered course where no matter what, this baby is coming. No changing your mind or your path. 

My pup was having her first litter and I was sitting with her as I saw the signs of impending birth. She paced and then came and sat by me as I rubbed her belly. Then up and paced again. Suddenly like a shot had rung out she jumped up on my bed. I slowly stood and with a calm voice told her “No, you can’t have them there.” As she jumped down I saw the first one crowning. I helped her remain still. After that first one was delivered I moved the pup into the dark of the closet and there she remained as the others came. I saw her fear but she calmed as instinct took over.

I feared until assurance kicked in, in my dream. In real life not so much. Luke tells us Mary was troubled in seeing the angel. The angel said to her “Fear not.” After the angel explained the reason for the visit she said “Be it unto me according unto thy word.” 

No wonder she was chosen. She had a great trust and love in her a God. 

As I read that I decided to make a list in my morning study note book. I had two columns, one I labeled Unbecoming the other Becoming. Thinking my emotions had plenty of times not been very becoming of me. But as I accepted, studied, looked and found the hand of the Lord in my trials I was becaming. Became who I was born to be.  Not there, but becoming.

My “un” list side reads like a horror script. The words I chose to describe my emotions and ugly desires. But my “be” list side reads like I imagine Mary’s journaling might have read as she endured. Suffice it to say of how long or how bad my un list was the the first word listed on my be side washed it all clean. My first word was and is, forgiveness. That word is always hungry. Practically starving these days. Either from us not asking for it or extending it. I have other words listed but to look back at my list and find that is the first one to come to me, makes me think I really am Becoming.

My dream sustains me. My faith is at times is on crutches. The right crutch of hope, the left, Tom. My desire to do right guides me. My Lord loves me. My gospel is my foundation. And my heritage is worth fighting for.

Mary calls herself a handmaiden, I could never be as bold to call myself that, but my patriarchal blessing does. It is truly time for me to Become. 

Elizabeth and Mary’s stories are in Luke 1. Who is Luke? I found an article in the New Era that introduced the Four writers of the New Testament. Luke came after Christ mission and life on this earth. His stories are taken from eyewitnesses. His account from these two women don’t come from catching bits and pieces from others. They come from talking to the women themselves. What a wonderful experience he had. Talking to those that personally endured. That witnessed. That became. What a gift he has given us.

Betty’s Lawyer

The hand of the Lord is a mysterious thing to behold. His timing is only understandable many miles down the road when you can turn and look back to see from whence you came, to see the broad expanse that it covers.

One morning in February of ’16 we received a call that our Holstein heifer was in St. Johns. That is forty miles from where she is pastured by road. Around twenty miles as the crow flies, barring the fences don't stop her.

Oh we knew she was missing. This was the third time her and her herd mates had been pushed through the gates onto the neighboring ranch. The first time we were called we were able to find their tracks walking the fence line on the way to water. The tracks stopped at a gate that had not been used for years with truck tracks stopping there also. At the gate all tracks ceased on our side but cattle tracks only continued on the wrong side.

By the third time they were missing we called the neighboring rancher but he hadn't come across them. They were finally reported five miles away. Three watering holes and four fences away. All were accounted for except the two Holsteins, a heifer and a steer. The cattle were headed toward Springerville not St. Johns.

Weeks later we receive a call from a rancher in St. Johns. Seems he found a Holstein heifer on his ranch. He runs cattle on the far side of our neighboring rancher. He said he had had her a couple of weeks trying to get some healthy fat back on her. He doesn't winter over there but he had gone to check on his place and came across the poor thing. The cattle inspector gave him our number from her brand.

We were so happy to have our Betty back. We brought her to the valley to help with her recovery. She put her weight back on and was still her sweet loving self.

 Oh I got to mention here the second time they were missing the small herd had walked to the neighbors head quarters to find water. He didn't bother to bring them in. Just figured we would gather them and push them back. We drove to his ranch to see where they were and he pointed and said “They were just on top of that ridge, must just be on the other side.” I called out loudly “Betty” about two or three times. Within a minute she was peeking over the top of the ridge and soon was running down it towards me. 

Between him and his hired hands I don't know who had the most shocked face.

Skip to 2017, we bought Betty a farm. She had a baby and gave us milk. 2018 another calf and more milk. 

But the story doesn't end there, this is not the happy ever after. There is more. It is almost time to tun around and see the whole picture. The Lords blessing and experience His timing.

The farm has water rights. Those water rights are always being challenged by others down river. Who if, I might add don't use the water, they sell it off to large cities. But that is another drum to beat another day. Our son wanting to protect our water rights and also being hired as the ditch boss goes to a meeting of Greenlee and Hildago counties Gila River water users meeting. They have brought in a lawyer, number one in the state of Arizona on water rights to give a brief lecture and answer questions. He is from Apache County. St. Johns as a matter of fact.

My son after it was over told him in a private conversation that we have land in Apache County and foresee in the future that we will be fighting over water rights. 

He gave our son his number and told him I don't want a retainer fee until the need arises but call my office and leave a list of names so incase I get a call from them I can say I am already retained by you.

Is it not a miracle, a man could rescue my Betty and he have a talent that one day could rescue me. Blessed is the name of our Lord and Savior.

Good Bye Old Year

What an amazing year. If I had to sum up my whole year in one little phrase, for me, it would be: I never saw it coming.

My boys, my three sons, side by side working, branding and tagging cattle. Over the years some had helped joyfully, some mournfully. After our pot boiled over I thought we would not mend. We each did in our way, changed also. Nothing short of a miracle.

A Judge in Navajo County ruling on my Apache County case to dismiss or send it down to Pinal County to combine with another case in Pinal County only to have a

Maricopa Judge rule that my case can stay in Pinal County along with the other case but are to remain separate. Confusing, but a true blessing.

To hear my baby cry at the sound of my voice. Brought an immeasurable amount of pain knowing we are so far apart. But yet, she reached out for what she need. Proud of her strength while she endures life’s hard trials. Heart wrenching but warming.

Tom after all these years finally was able to perform a full frontal assault Christmas surprise on me. I didn’t believe he really didn’t get me anything. But when two days pass and still nothing. He got me. I was fighting my emotions, trying to remind myself it is the giving that counts. Wrapped up and shocked.

Number fifteen grand baby. Such joy to have a little caboose. Icing on the cake of a year. Fifteen in just under twelve years. 

Three grown men hid under their lawyers desk. On a telephonic court hearing where all parties, be it the Judge, Plaintiff, and defendant were all miles from each other, those men choose not to be named at the hearing. Hiding from truth as usual. But the court had to list them on the minutes following the hearing. To have “cowboys” afraid to cowboy up did me great good.

Apache County postponed the trespassing case against us until a higher court rules on my name being fraudulently removed from inherited leases. A much needed God send.

The State of Arizona Land Dept. pressed charges against us for our cattle grazing beyond our borders. It was ruled and settled with prejudice. A disclaimer was attached that when we return with other cattle to make sure we keep them in.  The State saw the harassment and ruled in a proper manner.

We received a notice that our lawyers needed to withdraw from being our Council due to a conflict. It is nothing more than a delay tactic from the other side. Not wanting to delay the trial and with my case taking a slight turn, my Lawyers found the number one lawyer in the state of Arizona on Estate and Probate to represent me. I didn’t know it could get any better.

Another of many delay tactics, they tried to get my case dismissed on grounds that I did not list all that was involved. I left the State Land and BLM off my paperwork. Both parties had previous paperwork stating once the courts ruled on this matter they will abide by the ruling. It was proven they acknowledged the proceedings and want no part of the family fight. The Judge saw through the smoke and mirrors.

The Judge that ruled I owe the Nicolls for “things I stole” and they owe me on the buy out of the LLC, found it still was not resolved, he was upset. I had paid my part but yet they hadn’t even done anything toward their half. The scales of justice are leaning my way.

I took the challenge proposed by the Prophet to read the Book Of Mormon in a short time. I really struggled with the time constraint. I couldn’t stop and ponder like I was used too. I fell behind so I started to listen to the audio recordings. I came away with such a new understanding. What stood out to me was the genealogy. I hadn’t paid attention to it previously. The wars are not between tribes but brother on brother, son against father. It made my personal range war real. This truly is a continuances of the war that has been raging on the Americas since the Lord brought some of the tribes of Israel over from the Tower of Babel and again later. They fought for land and power. They took power and inherited land from what they felt were the weaker part but the weaker part were not weak they were meek and humble and had the Lord on their side. It distanced me from taking what others are doing to me and made it not personal. There has always been those that fight for power and others that prevail. An insight and calm from following the prophet.

2018 has been a hard year but a good hard. It seems the waves that have pounded me for so long are now carrying me to shore. I have seen the workings of the Lord this year. His love for His children. 

My dreams this year have taught me that there maybe a few pumps but I am on the right path and soon my troubles will smooth. I have hit the pinnacle and it’s down hill from here.

Also to trust in the Lords timetable.  

One dream showed me that some are in too deep and now their hands are tied. They have gone past the point of no return. My heart ached for them.

My wish for resolve, is that those involved in the court cases will quit delaying the trial. If they truly believe they are standing on higher ground then let’s take it to the battle field. Quit delaying. The reason they fear going to trial is because they will have to make a choice. The choice being, run cattle alongside of the Bakers. The delays are a selfish scheme of self enrichment. They have the deeded land and grazing rights all to them self. 

The Judge sees through this elaborate scheme and is tiring of their antics. It won’t fair well in their favor if the judge forms a prejudice against them.

As for myself, I hope this year aids me in accomplishing many of my projects. That I may make up for lost time with those I dearly love. That I can have new and wondrous appreciation for the Lord and His gospel that doesn’t come from trials. That my toe stubbing trials may be absorbed more readily through faith and not taken personally.

May I be available to the Lord in whatever capacity He needs. And lastly that my earthly parents be blessed with witnessing the healing hearts of their children. And may this be the year I am permitted to stand before an earthly judge and find closure in his judgement.

As for the future of my children and their children I pray the Lord blesses each of you beyond measure. As we step closer and closer to our Lord and Saviors final return May He hold you safe from the calamities foretold of His second coming. 

May your hearts be filled with faith, hope, and charity. That we all may learn to treat family, friend, foe, and stranger with love and kindness. Seek for the good in each other. Learn that people do bad things, that people aren’t bad. Judge righteously but don’t pass judgement.

 And it came to pass that the angel spake unto me again, saying: Look! And I looked and beheld the Lamb of God, that he was taken by the people; yea, the Son of the everlasting God was judged of the world; and I saw and bear record.1 Nephi 11:32

I want to bear testimony that the Son Of God was judged of the world.That judgement did not define him. Nor as the world judges us, we should not let it define us. Self judgement should be used only as a source of self improvement and not self condemnation. 

Your earthly parents love each and everyone of you, and daily practice unconditional love. Your Heavenly Parents love you and have mastered unconditional love. Turn to your Savior and His Father daily, in thanksgiving and in need. Believe they will fill all your needs on their time table, in perfect timing to inspire more faith and appreciation.

Let this be the year, not just another year.

Your Hand Is Caught In The Cookie Jar, Let Go

In my scripture reading today I came across this verse

Be wise in the days of your probation; strip yourselves of all uncleanness; ask not, that ye may consume it on your lusts, but ask with a firmness unshaken, that ye will yield to no temptation, but that ye will serve the true and living God.
Mormon 9:28

Ask not that ye may consume it on your lust.  The many prayers I asked the Lord to bless me in my endevors that I did not prepare for. The many times I needed to pass a test in school as I did a last minute glance at the study guide, the only time I looked at it since receiving it.

This is one of many examples. I truly prayed for that which I truly wanted but I truly spent my time true to something else.

When I read that verse, in my minds eye the vision was not of me and what I just confessed to you. That vision came after I asked if I too was guilty of this. Not in the same magnitude as my first vision but guilty as charged.

My first vision was my siblings and my business partners gathered independently in their quite spaces praying that the Judge may rule in their favor, that their lawyer may be prepare and blessed in the arguments that he needs to present that day.
I know for the last five years I have prayed that same exact prayer. Also that I will accept the out come without an out cry. I’m getting better on that last request but not perfect.

We are taught to pray unceasingly. There is a long list of scriptures but this one is short, sweet, and to the point.

Pray without ceasing.
1 Thessalonians 5:17

Do they pray for the hand of the Lord to bless them in this endeavor, or do they know seeking a blessing that uses force and fraud to take my inheritance from me further damns their souls.  Do they avoid such words to escape their lips? Is this a plan hatched in their desires that it falls in the category of lust, therefore is hidden from the Lord in their minds?

But behold, ye cannot hide your crimes from God; and except ye repent they will stand as a testimony against you at the last day.
Alma 39:8

Over the last five years I have experienced so many emotion but when I am able to corral them, control them, and contain the contaminated ones, the emotion left standing is how I wish we could of sat down and talked, prayed together, and found the error that has brought us this far.
I have asked time and time again. That we may find the power to forgive and right this wrong. Yet it goes on. To the point of great loss. Yes loss of worldly goods. But the soul is of the most important.

Time and time again I have asked that you forsake the greed and pride that rests in your hearts and repent. Become family once again.
When this started it was a small group of thieves but to keep it progressing so many that should of remained innocent but have also signed on the dotted line. How many more are you willing to sacrifice. And for what?

Like Nephi of old taught his older brothers of the errors of their way. I too ask that you seek what
motivates you in this crime. Turn from it. And let love fill the darkness once again.

I love you and only seek for your welfare.

Over the years I have considered and been told by others that I should just drop it, walk away. Taking the easy way or the path of least resistance is not doing what is right. It lets those with
unrighteous desire to continue in their path to damnation. The one that turns from the fight is left with the sin and soiled clothes that comes from not speaking out and calling others to repentance.

As this year closes and my great desire of meeting, be it before a judge or mediator once again closes, my heart does take comfort that by the mercy of the Lord I have seen most of you in person as we have crossed paths in simple ways. For the most part it has been catching glimpses of you while we were both shopping. It brought me great joy to see you looking good and healthy.

I ask once again for you to stop this nonesense. To follow in the steps of our righteous forbearers and let this gift of inheritance bring us together. To learn through hard work and care, that we are truly blessed and loved. That even as we have differences we don’t have to be indifferent to each other. As we are learning through church, as the later days come to a close, we should council in all things. We should draw our families around us, council together, and then with prayer and understanding, accomplish that that we have decided upon.

The Lord is hastening His return. The signs are all around us. With love I plead to repent and and set this right.


Your sister in blood and the gospel.

Arrows of Blame

The boy ran nimbly as he could down the deer trail. Dodging low limbs and cat claw. Then stopped at the meadows edge to catch his breath. Across the meadow he could see the smoke rising from the chimney and he knew the rabbit he held in his hand would soon be stewed. He reached over his shoulder and straighten the quiver strap that had slipped down almost to the point of rubbing a blister on his neck, then made sure the bow was still secure.

By the time he got across the meadow he was wringing wet from the knees on down. The dew showed promise that the feed would hold out until the first frost, until then the hunting would remain good.

As the first dusting of snow came he found what his father had taught him rung true. The snow is easier to track in but the tracks would be fewer. His father had been called away to track an escape convict. He could be gone for a month maybe longer. Father and son had gathered the bounty for the family for as long as he could remember. Lessons were taught, learned, an administered.  

There were three things driven home above all the other learning,  first, respect for life, which seamed out of place as you were out to take a life. Time and time again he was taught to only kill what you eat and no more than you needed. Target practice was not to take a life. 

The second was patience. Take time to take the right shot. Not one that wounds, not hurried. Notice the breeze. Calculate how it will play for you or against you. If needs be, move to take advantage of the wind.

Third, if the shot is missed it lies solely with you.

Daylight was getting shorter, the days colder, and the prey more scarce. He silently walked with his eyes peeled for any sign. Be it prey or predator. At least he will learn the habits of both and could be on the receiving end of some other creatures loss. He went home that day empty handed but up beat for tomorrow.

Day after day he returned empty handed. His mother consoled him with stories of how years ago his dad also was honing his hunting skills and they went without, but never went hungry. There was always other things to eat besides that’s days catch. Food preserved carefully by his mother for times just as this.

“All will be fine. Be patient with yourself. Accept you are not all your going to be right now.” His mother would say.

As the sun broke over the hills on the fourth day he spotted a squirrel, low on a tree trunk. He took the shot, the squirrel rounded the trunk to the far side, his arrow missed the mark and the tree. “Stupid wind, you made me miss.

He walked on, heard a raven and took the shot. He did not miss, dead on. But his heart sank as he realized he took the life of a creature he would not eat. He soon reasoned that bird was a noisy old thing that was scaring off all his prey. 

Over the next week and a half he brought home two squirrels and a large hare. The snow fell again and started to melt by the time his father returned. 

“Son” his father said “Your mother tells me that you had some rough hunting days. Not that you didn’t bring home a kill but that you were saddened.”

“Father, I did my best but the elements were not in my favor.”

“Son I do not doubt your tried your best while I left you to do a mans job. Arrows of blame drawn from a quiver of guilt will not bring happiness.”

“Father, I don’t understand.”

His father drew a deep breath and quietly said “When we draw back our bow and let blame fly,we soon have a quiver full of reasons or excuses not to better ourselves. That son is the sin we fall prey too when we find fault in others or circumstances and not analyze what change needs to come from us first.” 

A Dogs Life

The ole dog laid in the yard sunning her self. She stood, stretched, shook off the nap, and scanned the horizon. Noting the other dogs were shaded up she trotted over to a lone tree.  I watched as she sniffed around close to where a root had come to the surface just where the dirt was a little softer.
The soil gave way as she proceeded to dig, soon she looked up disenchanted and returned to her place in the sun.

Many times I witnessed as she wandered off to repeat it over and over again. It may of been near a bush, a post, next to the barn, another tree farther down the way. Then she would return back to whence she came and fell back a sleep.

Over the years I had noticed she buried plenty. Bones, raw hide chews, a pancake, scraps of toast.  To no avail her searches came up empty. Oh she came across some things here or there, but mother earth had claimed most of it.  What bones were found had hardened and lost flavor.

As I watched day after day in hopes she'd win, find the prize she desired, I found myself obtaining a new bone for her. She mauled it for days on end then carried it off.  Taking notice that she was alone she dug a new hole, carefully placed the bone within and buried it under. 

She trotted home to lay in the sun, accomplished.  As she slept another dog stood, stretched, and ran unearthed her bone.

At times I have been that dog. The bones and scraps are people in my life. Trying to spend time with each and then storing the good memories away. Time and trials came and the bones and scraps laid idle as I waited for the sun to come out again.

Soon the sun broke loose of the dark clouds that had me encompassed. I took time to enjoy the warmth and comfort it gives. Then I went looking for bones and scraps, most were missing or lay silent.

Lately I have been given bones in the most unexpected ways. One came in such a small gesture that I cried.  I had given to one a small scrap.  I had responded to a need he had for a class.  An old dog came and questioned my scrap.  I guess I was not allowed to associate or help.  This young man wrote back "Thank you".  So simple, so kind.

Once the cold darkness of trials fades and the Son/sun has had time to work its healing, after the light has washed the shadows and those that stand in them telling you, you are of no worth, then you have great desire to grow and give again.  In time you see from a clear perspective, gain the confidence to search or reach out, to find new bones.

I found me slowly looking for small bits of kindness.  Most holes were empty, taken by others.  Dogs that felt I shouldn't have kindness in my life, but kindness prevailed, I was given new bones.

The dogs that dung up the buried bones found there was nothing of worth.  The ole girl had consumed all the good parts.  All there was left in the ground was history.  It couldn't be changed just because some desire to take it from her. It amounted to nothing to the other dog.  Dogs that try to take happiness from one another don't truly know happiness.  Robbing others for your happiness is pain that will never be satisfied.